Testimony to HaShem & His Messiah

 

Thanks be to God

I feel like I have a dreadful premonition of some sort that I cannot deal with. I am praying to God daily for His wisdom and guidance that can help me to manage it but it seems like somehow the devil is making it all worse. I have not stop grieving for my dad yet who return to the Lord on the 25 August 2011 and here comes worrying for my mom having trouble of sleeping because of her loss. Now I have another problem here with my wife who think that I did not care enough for her just because I am more concerned for my mom well being than hers. What should I do?

My younger brother who is a father of 3 children and fortunately all grown up is helping to look after our mother in turn. The thing is that our mother has a house of her own, my brother his own and my own house. My brother will come in every Friday night to accompany our mother and stay until Saturday night and go back to his own house on Sunday evening after dinner. For us, we will come back to stay with our mother on Sunday night until Thursday night and Friday evening after dinner we will go back to our own house. This is the arrangement agreed by my brother and us.

Now my wife have done so much for our own house and expect me to treat it with delight as well as respect which I do but she don’t seems to agree with it because she said I kept thinking of my mother and my brother side. She has this feeling that I am more a mother child than a husband to her. She even ridiculed me that when I hold my mother’s hand when crossing road or when she walk wobbly on an unstable road because her legs are weak as if I am holding a girl-friend’s hand. She also said I should not get married at all if I am so filial to my mother. She said the more I kept thinking about my mother or my brother side I am ruining my own marriage, she warn sternly. How can I take care of my mother when she harbour such ill thoughts. I love my wife and I truly do so but she has to understand my feelings for my elderly mother and I pray to God that she can be supportive and help me to take care of my elderly mother until her good old age. She is 78 now, how many more years can she have. She cried when my father passed away saying that she can save others but her own father-in-law she cannot save because she is a registered nurse. So much so that she almost wanted to resign but thanks to brother David Ng from St. Andrew’s Cathedral who came for our father’s wake service to give her counselling that calm her down. Now, if because of the above situation between my mother and my wife and my brother’s family somehow cause a regretable relationship drift between them. Then it may somehow cause my elderly mother to worry about she being a burden to us which I am trying to console her that this is not the case because we truly want our elderly mother to live to her fullest years with no regrets. We pray that this conflict of ours do not cause a depression to our elderly mother because she may think that she is the cause of all these conflicts. If the situation does worsen then it will be forever a guilt trauma to everyone of us because we are the indirect murderer of our beloved mother.

My mother is also a caring and selfless person just like my late father always think of other people than himself. She know that I have a wife and my brother also have his family and children. She say if things really go bad she will have to live alone and probably employ a maid to take care of her rather than make us difficult. Does that make my wife really a petty person because usually we are the one who think for the elderly and not the other way round. Even our government ministers care for the elderly and weak people. What more she is my own elderly mother and a half mother to my wife. If she is young probably she don’t need our help but she is a wobbly old lady and my wife has this kind of a jealousy feeling towards her. I really don’t know what to do because sometimes my wife can be very hard-hearted and nasty due to her work stress at her working place. Even her own colleagues and managers told her why you must always take care of your mother-in-law, she has no son, is it? Such attitudes from them will turn my wife into a monstrous person from being a kind person into a evil person. May God help destroy all these evil colleagues and managers at her ungodly working place in Singapore General Hospital. Actually my wife used to be a kind and caring person who have taken good care of my parents ever since we got married. She’s been my dad’s care giver for years as well as caring for my mom’s well being. If not because of the evil and wickedness of her colleagues and managers who are themselves unkind to their own parents-in-law, my wife would not have turned into such an unreasonable person like them. Yes, and they are all so called medical professional who are supposed to give thoughtful professional care to their patients even old elderly people. Why? I just don’t understand!

Even Pastor Peter Chen of St. Andrew’s Cathedral came for our father’s wake service and have prayed for my brother and I to seek God’s help in taking good care of our elderly mother because she has just lost her beloved husband. He even said it is even harder to take care of our mother for those who have children to tend to but my brother’s children are all already grown up ie 17, 17 and 20. So according to my wife, she think that my brother also has the same duty to take care of our mother with equal effort as I am. My wife is a person who measure things fair and equal. But sometimes feelings for a person or caring for a person cannot be measured like I do so much and you must do so much. My wife thinks like that because I have a younger brother to depend on whom she think also need to shoulder equal responsibility to take care of our mother. My brother is well known lazy and not so caring type unlike me who always tend to my mother’s need so much so that my mother always turn to me for help. Moreover my mother also dote me more than my younger brother and I don’t know whether that also contribute another problem for me or not. My wife don’t like that to happen that I care for my mother so much that neglect her and our own home. She keep telling me that she already give in so much to my mother and to my brother side that she cannot take it anymore because I care for my mother first than her. She is really upset and I don’t know what to do. How to take care of my elderly mother properly when my wife is having such emotional breakdown and ill-feeling towards her. This is not healthy in the long-term for everybody especially for my elderly mother.

The devil is trying to ruin our marriage again on 5 Jan 2012 evening. That night the dreadful conflict started very disastrously for me because my mother and I attended our neighbor’s wake service in the void deck. My wife was tired that night, frustrated and waited for us to return home because she did not join us. We went back home late and she was very pissed off because she stand outside the door waiting for us. Because of that incident, both my mother and my wife has not been talking to each other since. I as a son and a husband suddenly clamped in the middle of them almost having developed quite a severe depression myself and feeling helpless and do not know what to do. Thanks be to God for been kind to me and hear my prayers. Miraculously and suddenly my wife started to talk to my elderly mother on Monday evening on 16 Jan 2012. My mother responded back with gladness and they went down to pasar malam that night together with cheerful conversation. Actually that day in the afternoon I went to the outside premise of St. Andrew’s Cathedral to pray for them fervently for the resolution to their conflict even when there is no services whatsoever. But God in the gracious Name of our beloved Master Yeshua hears my prayer nevertheless and answer me instantly. I am very glad for that and I pray that the relationship between my elderly mother and my wife be divinely strengthened and let it be lasting until my mother good old age. And today is my dad’s 6 months anniversary of returning to the Lord’s Kingdom and I missed him. Now let God and His Messiah receives this glory, praise, and blessing due to Him and Him alone from us. Amein!

May GOD HaShem Adonai Avinu help my elderly mother, my wife and me and my brother’s family. Amein!

Shalom

First time blogging. Heard of it a while back about this web technology. Don’t really have the time to write though but may want to share some views with others concerning our beloved Master Yeshua and His teachings known as the Torah. I will post once I have some good stuff to share….